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Andy Dougan's Movie World Steve Wings It
NEVER work with animals or children they say, and to that funnyman Steve Carell might also add, if you must work with birds make sure they are hungry! Carell stars as a modernday Noah in Evan Almighty, the sequel to Bruce Almighty. He's an anchorman turned politician who is told to build an ark by God.
Big Screen Action All Ark for Ark's Sake
EVAN ALMIGHTY (PG) 1/5 The most expensive comedy ever made - and not a laugh in sight ONE of the most common debates about the existence of God is why he allows bad things to happen to good people. I couldn't help but ponder that very point as I watched this mirthless comedy while desperately trying to suppress an anguished cry of "Why, God? Why?"
RICHARD GERE is getting a bit long in the tooth to be a heartthrob. Before any ambulance-chasing lawyers start placing calls to Hollywood I should point out that it's not me who's suggesting this, it's him. "I'm 57 years old, " he says. "How much longer can I be a sex symbol? Let's be realistic!"
THE SIMPSONS (PG, 87mins) 5/5 The big screen incarnation of the world's most successful cartoon series is a triumph. It has all your favourites plus a real story, character development, and more gags in any five-minute section than most films manage in their whole length. Not to be missed, and not just for Simpsons fans.
Loch and Roll Star From Rock to Dance, It's All the Rage at Loch Lomond Festival This Weekend
AS Scotland's bumper summer of festivals trundles ever onwards, the spotlight turns to Loch Lomond, where an eclectic bunch of rock heroes, indie stars, Scots bands and DJs will be rocking the loch all weekend. From stadium rockers Feeder and festival faves Supergrass to club legends Paul Oakenfold and Pete Tong, a truly mixed bag will be entertaining a 40,000-strong crowd from 12noon until 10.30pm on Saturday and Sunday.
10 Questions for Melinda Messenger
TV PERSONALITY Melinda Messenger is the girl next door who found fame on page 3 and went on to front Five's Fort Boyard and star on Celebrity Big Brother. The 36-year-old mum-of-three has ditched her blonde bombshell image to work on an environmental campaign with Lenor. 1 DO YOU PRACTISE THE ENVIRONMENTAL MESSAGE YOU PREACH?
Pick of the Day Shark, Five, 10pm
'D.A.' has a distinctly more glamorous ring to it than 'procurator-fiscal', don't you think? Perhaps if this show was made in Scotland it would be called 'McClumpha' and follow the thrill-a-minute life of a solicitor in the PF's office facing the wrath of motorists appealing parking fines.
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